matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
