you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
