My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
