Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
