yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
