i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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