oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I will pee on everything he values.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
