So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
