I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I love you. Go after that dick
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