dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
