He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
