i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
