Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
