Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
