you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
