Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
