you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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