I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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