She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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