have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
