Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
