Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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