I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
