Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
