no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
