Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
