I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
