I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He shit in the fireplace
This can only be settled by a dance off.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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