This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
