Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
drinking out of a sandbucket again
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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