well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think my vagina is haunted
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
