I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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