good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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