I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
operation harelip BJ is a go
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
