I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize