i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
