So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
