Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This toilet bowl is my home.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
