You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
