I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
