he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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