I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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