what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
