i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
