Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
