You just made me feel so damn special
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
