ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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