My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
