i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
