Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
