you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
