good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize