Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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