it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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