I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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